Whats My Deal?

So basically lately ive been having really bad anxiety/physcosis as a result of smoking marijuana. I dont know if its the combination of that and taking celexa (antidepressant) or just getting stressed out about school or what but i haven been able to properly function lately. And i think its beyond taking the two together because i was still having really bad anxiety before i started taking my depression meds and smoking. I used to be able to smoke out and do anything, write, remain confortable in social situations, work adamantly and keep my head straight. But now it seems as though ive lost the ability to do so. Ive gotten to the point to where i cant even write a simple pararaph stating my opinion on something without freaking out and overthinking what im doing.Its even hard for me to write this right now. I overthink like crazy and try to drive for perfection, but can never seem to get there without stressing myself out.

I started smoking frequently during my sophmore summer and am now a senior in high school. It started off awesome, smoking out with my friends, sittin and relaxing, enjoying the small things in life. Now thats all changed. I feel like i cant even function anymore when i smoke. Im always stuck in my head thinking about what im about to say or what im doing or if people are looking at me. Plus i feel as though ive completely lost my ability to focus and remember things. Ive always loved learning new **** but for some reason now im unable to retain any of it whatsoever. Im probably just really burnt out to tell ya the truth but i just cant stop smoking. One minute i want to really bad, but then the next its all i want to do.

Ive always had alot of emotional problems so that probably doesnt help, or the fact that i have a really addictive personality (hence the fact ive never tried any serious drugs, cause that would just be all bad). I just dont know what to do anymore. I doubt theres anyone that could help on here i just figured id put it out there just to see if im not the only one. If anyones got any negative **** to say go ahead and say it, cant say i didnt see it coming. I realize that quitting is something i need to just buckle down and do but its alot harder then it sounds.

Suggestion:

First off, you are not addicted to marijuana. That is a ridiculous statement.

You say you are a senior in high school. You might very well becoming burnt out on high school or starting to get the sinking realization that all high school seniors get that being a kid is just over. It's time to be an adult and that is scary **** in of it's self. All these feelings can play into why you want to keep smoking even though it's not as fun as it used to be. You are trying so hard to get that relief you once felt that you are burning yourself out on it. If you take a week or two break and then come back to it, you will be happy to rediscover that feeling but it might be wise for the time being to quit and try to fix whatever is going on with you. It is not being caused by marijuana use, it is just something that is wrong with you already that you need to get straightened out. Blaming it on other things is easy, but not always right.

You could be also developing or discovering some more underlining mental health issues. If you are having such hardcore anxiety as what you are describing without being high [as, yes it is true that marijuana can enhance paranoid and anxiety but not unless under the influence and in the wrong state of mind/environment] you need to talk to your family doctor about different medication and possibly a therapist. There is nothing wrong with excepting mental health and it is the hardest thing for most to except the help. I hope that you can find relief with your doctor and that they can help you find the right medication for you. I am not usually an advocate for anti-anxiety medication or anti-depressants but in some cases, it may be necessary.

If you are really against the idea of pill popping, finding strength in your family and friends is a good, and in my opinion, the best way to help with your problems. Talk to someone that you can trust about how you are feeling, someone that you wont feel judged by and that could even help more than medication. I speak from experience, m'dear. :)

Good luck in all your endeavors and I hope you can find the help that you need. :)

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