I had sex with a few of my cousins and promised many of them my hand in marriage and three of them were all siblings but have no idea about each other. I broke up with each of them one by one. I had sex with my best friend's dad, married men, a police officer who came into my house because I sneaked a guy in my room one night and my parents called the police. I flirted with that police officer and we had sex every weekend at his house. I was still 16. I've prostituted myself, became a satanist and tried to kill this jerk. Then I became very sensitive and emotional and started attempting suicide and cutting myself really bad! Started going to hospitals on a weekly basis, started smoking marijuana, running away, skipping school, grades going bad, having sex with classmates and teachers. I don't understand my life really. I was dating this ambassador's son and cheated on him numerous times and spent all his money. Developed an eating disorder. Either I eat too much and gain a lot of weight, or I binge and purge and starve until I lose a lot of weight fast. Took a whole bottle of Tylenol once and ended up in the ER for days then the psych ward again. I used to have visual and auditory hallucinations at the age of 8. It stopped about two years later but when I see doctors for some reason I like to exaggerate things and say that I still have hallucinations. I used to lie a lot and hurt people on purpose. I would date as many as 3 guys at once and I would have sex with people I shouldn't have sex with. I would date someone online and show them a complete fake picture and date them for a whole year! It's inexplicable. Sometimes I used to do things because I was angry at how many kids never liked me as a young child and they treated me like crap. At 17 I started to change a little but it's a wavy thing. Now at 18, I still have three boyfriends and I still have sex with couples and married men or random people from craigslist. I don't hallucinate but I stopped smoking marijuana four days ago and I really want to graduate high school this year I've already repeated the 11th grade three times! My parents are done helping me, I have many different moods and personalities with different people. I feel fake because I don't even know what my own personality is. I swear I have no clue who I am. I don't like to please people anymore in fact I am more straight forward and I lie less. I love my boyfriend Jakub more than any other guy. He is two years younger than me I tell him the truth all the time but he is super sensitive and sometimes I can't tell him everything. I am less of a liar and I give myself credit but my past still hurts me. I was supposed to go to school today but I didn't I don't stay motivated for long but I know I really want to succeed in life. I have no close friends! My whole childhood I've been traveling to different countries and was never able to keep friends for long. I kissed some guy who's girlfriend is a neighbor like three days ago and I just want to be normal! I want to be like able. My little brother and sister hate me, my dad and I aren't close anymore, My mom and I never were close. I feel like I shouldn't have been born. I don't feel human because I am sooo confused and people are so mean to me when they don't even know me! Now I am fat and disgusting but I stopped cutting myself. I know I'm a smart girl and I achieve impressive things when I am motivated to. My report card last week was excellent but I just have so much to do because of my stupid past mistakes. I take 16 classes in high school! Online and in school. I am wayyy behind and I just feel so depressed at times I want to die. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and I'm sick of it. I weigh freaking 280 pounds!!! and i'm 5'6!! way too obese but somehow I have a nice body and every douche wants a piece of me. Somebody please give me an impressive piece of advice. Anyone experienced this???
Suggestion:
Can we make hot love?
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