What Do You Think of My Poem?

it is called '' runaway train '' i wrote it myself, inspired by the film '' stand by me '' kinda long so i hope you'll bear with me…………

You walk along
The beaten path
As the sun beats down
With all of its wrath
From out of the distance
You hear the tone
The chill up your spine
Says you’re not alone
You look up ahead
Nothing you see
You wonder if your senses
Were deceiving thee
Your eyes seem to listen
In tune with your ears
Could this be true?
The sum of all your fears
Your ears say yes
Your eyes say no
Your mind is spinning
Say it isn’t so
You continue to walk
And hasten your pace
You make for the edge
A seemingly endless race
Suddenly you stop
You hear it once more
It’s getting closes
You can feel its roar
There is no mistaken
The air tells the facts
A train is coming
You better make tracks
You see the smoke
As it rises above the trees
Your fear is paralyzing
It almost brings you to your knees
Your heart is racing
Your blood is pumping
The train enters the bridge
You can feel its thumping
You maneuver the tracks
Trying not to fall
As the train lets out
Its menacing call
It’s getting ever closer
You can feel its hot breath
This unspeakable terror
You’re dancing with death
You cannot go left
You cannot go right
Ahead is the only way
As you run with all your might
Behind you is the fury
The train’s echoing call
Below you is the certainty
The bridges fateful fall
You’re almost at the end
You’ve nearly found the way
You finally have hope
You’ll see another day
You make for the edge
As the train closes ground
You’re screaming for help
But none can be found
A short distance remains
You’re almost there
You dive for the edge
As you say a quick prayer
Your life seems to pause
As it flashes before your eyes
Have you saved yourself
Or is this your goodbyes
You’re hesitant to look
You barely can sigh
The sweat is pouring down
As the train rumbles by
You start to smile
The nightmare is over
As you grasp the ground
Like a passionate lover
You continue your journey
As day turns to night
You’re calmed by the glow
Of the moon’s soothing light
Though the horror has subsided
The fear begins to wane
You’ll surely never forget
That runaway train

Suggestion:

"You barely can sigh
The sweat is pouring down
As the train rumbles by
You start to smile "

this bit, amazing, love it

and with all its wrath is great too

pretty cool poem, that bit realyl works for me