I'm a mother of 4 children + legal guardian of a boy and life in the last couple of days has been hectic. I should first say I'm not the best writer so bare with me. I have to start with little back story.
Like I said before my husband and I are the legal guardians of a 16 year old boy his name is Ross. His mom and I were best friends almost like sisters, and when she died, she had no other family and taking in Ross was not a problem for us. He was basically family. He calls me his aunt if that helps tell you how close I am with him. This was two years ago when he moved in. You should know that he was dating my daughter Emily before he moved in and we allowed them to continue dating because we didn't want to cause internal family problems. But before he moved we told him and our daughter if they had sex or sexual acts that we would kick him out. And the past two years have been fine with them as a couple.
My family loves Ross he is a great student, he has a great personality, he is very athletically gifted, he is getting recruited and letters form colleges/universities to play baseball and football, we are very proud of him.
Up until a couple of weeks ago everything has been fine, but then I guess hell broke loose. My daughter Emily and Ross where caught in compromising position and my husband and I sat them down and talked to them about their decision making. Then in the same day we caught them in another compromising position outside in his car. I tried to use a scare tactic on my daughter by telling to remember the deal about Ross leaving if they had sex or sexual acts. That's what I think started it and then it escalated. Well for the next couple of days I saw my daughter moping around and I assumed that she was just tired or some type of teenage mood swing, and then next couple of days she was just bouncing off the walls completely happy. Again I thought it was a teenage mood swing. But then, I caught her outside at 2am smoking pot in our back yard, and I checked her room and she had a lot of it hidden under her bed. I very upset, and when I asked her why she said that she was stressed out and she told me how she didn’t want Ross to leave And I'm just so shock by my daughter because it out of her character my daughter, she has/had everything going for her. She is a high school sophomore, an above 4.0 student, AP student, student counsel member, a tutor, a young community leader, she apart of many organizations and clubs: like choir, apart NHS, and she's a three sport athlete. Well, of course I was mad, I sat her down and had a talk telling her the dangers of drugs and I told her I was just using Ross as a threat so they would slow down.
But when things started to get better, it got worst Ross for the first I've ever seen got angry. He got angry at me and my husband but mainly me. telling us yesterday how my daughter Emily told him that we were going to kick out. He told us how he feels like he can't make a mistake because he thinks we want to leave him like everyone else. We tried to talk to him after but he just wasn't listening to us. He wont even look at me, he has the same look he had when his mom died. And I don’t know what to do.
And now to my 15 year old daughter, Ellie, her "best" friend who's a girl was staying over our house for the night last night and I walked in on them in our basement having oral sex with this girl. This so out of character I don't even know I what to think. I yelled at my Ellie and she said she wasn't doing anything that Emily wasn't doing. I can't believe my innocence Ellie would do something like this. (My husband and I accept our daughter Ellie sexuality)
We are extremely upset about Ellie doing this. I don't know what to do. I know I told Emily and Ross, that Ross would be out if they had sex, but I can't and I won't kick him out. And yes, we knew Ellie was gay but we didn't know she was doing that. And now Ross won’t talk to me.
I don't know what do and any help or advice on our family situation would be very helpful
Suggestion:
I think that first you need to let all the kids know that you would never kick Ross out. With that threat hanging over his head he'll never be able to act like a normal kid at home.
I think you need to sit them down and talk to them. Try to agree on something that everyone is happy with or the atmosphere in your house won't be a nice one.
Sounds like you just need everyone to understand what they can and can't do and what exactly will happen if they do break a rule. Don't threaten them with things you would never really do. My mum has done that in the past and I just worried about it for a long time before I asked her if she meant it and she said no. I was really upset at that time.
Just make sure Ross knows he is as much part of the family as everyone else… he probably just feels kinda alone. Maybe talk to him separately?
I hope you work something out 
Good Luck
You must log in to post a comment.