The problem is, people can't seem to come up with a definition we can all agree on. Some people consider it a racial slur, some people feel it's a term of endearment, some people think it means ignorant, and some people feel it's meaning changes depending on what the race of the person is who is using it.
Well my friends I know how to solve this controversy.
We need to make the word refer to something that does not apply to people but can also refer to something that is both loved and hated. What is this thing that we should refer to as that oh so hated word "******"? Well I thought you'd never ask. It seems so simple to me now and i don't know why I never realized it before. I have to thank our neighbors in the UK for giving me the idea.
My friends the solution is that the word "******" should here on be used to refer to cigarettes.
Think about it in the UK fag is not a slur and is not even considered derogatory. If we use the word "******" to refer to cigarette's then people can say these phrases and no one will be offended.
"I want to smoke a ******"
"I hate ******* they're killing people"
"All the ******* in here are taking away all my air"
"I am a ****** lover but my family hates it"
"That's it I'm giving up on ******* for good"
"******* kill more people in this country than anything else"
"Can I get a ****** please"?
"******* cause birth defects"
And ladies now you can finally say these phrases you've always wanted to say and no one will mind.
"I really need a ****** in me right now"
"Nothing makes you look sexier than a ******"
"Whenever I put a ****** in my mouth it always makes me gag"
"My insides are black from all the ******* I've had"
"Sometimes I need two ******* just to satisfy me"
And there are many more phrases people love to say but can't because people are two damn sensitive. If we can change the "N" word to mean cigarette everyone can say it and no one can be offended thereby closing the racial divide the word has caused.
Now I know what you're thinkin "it won't work because of the words history" well folks we've tried to make the word mean so many other things and put rules on it that all refer to people so maybe we should give this a shot. So far making a slur to mean cigarette has worked in one part of the world and that's much better progress than we have made trying to make it into something else that only applies to people. So now when anyone uses the word ****** it won't even makes sense, it would be like calling someone an airplane IT WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE! Watch this:
Person1: Look at that ****** walkin down the street.
Person 2: Are you crazy a ****** isn't a person what are you talking about?
Person 1: Oh yeah why would I call that guy a ******?
So screw history! What has history ever done for us!?
Thank you for your time and have a good night.
Suggestion:
Long tale. Good work. Keep carrying on.
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