He told me (two years ago) before we started dating that he will never stop just because someone tells him too.
Now that I have stronger feelings for him, I get PARANOID, angry and sad every time he tells me he smokes. It used to be very rare..but he's starting to smoke twice a week, sometimes more because his best friend just got into it.
I've tried the whole "It's me or the weed!" thing, and the whole "It's over!" thing. Doesn't work and I know I have to accept him smoking weed, I can't change him. I just can't break up with him FOR REAL because of him smoking, I've tried many times, I always seem to get over it. Breaking up is not an option anymore.
The positives are that he never lies to me about it, he respects when I say I don't want him to call me when he's high, he only does it during the night at his friends, then goes right home, and he doesn't act really any different. I just get SO angry because I can't stop thinking about his burning his brain cells, and I feel like it's such a dirty thing to do as much as he's starting to do it. He used to be better then that.
What are ways to calm me down every time he tells me he's smoking?
Suggestion:
I understand how you feel, but you went into the relationship knowing that he smokes weed. Now that you have stronger feelings for him, I understand it is harder to take, but it sounds like he feels strongly about smoking. My ex-fiancee (we just broke up) of 16 years and I used to smoke it daily for years. It has turned him paranoid and angry. I am sober now, but I can't be with someone like that, and 16 years was a long time. I am a nurse and also know first hand about the effects of weed. In some people, even slight usage for years can bring psychological effects. You need to look inside yourself and ask if this is something you want to deal with for a long time. Meditation is an awsome way to calm down.
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